


you've got a worried mind, i've got a worried heart

by madfatty



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-05 23:08:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4198542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madfatty/pseuds/madfatty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Archie reflects on his best mate post-sexy party</p>
            </blockquote>





	you've got a worried mind, i've got a worried heart

Archie Spencer knows all there is to know about Finn Nelson. They’ve been friends since primary. They are brothers in all but blood.

Archie was there when Finn’s mum first left and Finn stopped speaking for a little while. It wasn’t more than a few weeks; maybe a month and a half tops, but Archie remembers it was long enough to freak out all the adults, even though he couldn’t see what they found to be so scary about it at the time. Archie had missed Finn’s mum a lot and she wasn’t even his mum. So while he still can’t imagine exactly how Finn had felt, Archie thinks he’d have done the same thing at eight years old, if it were his mum who’d left.

Finn had just been trying to figure out what had happened the best way he knew, so Archie had done what any brother would do; he stepped up and stood between Finn and the world until Finn was strong enough to stand up on his own again. And when he was, Archie stepped back to resume his place at Finn’s side.

They’d always had sleepovers, alternating houses turn and turnabout, but after Finn’s mum left they always stopped at Finn’s. Finn’s house was almost his house anyway so Archie didn’t mind. He didn’t think it was weird, as they topped and tailed in Finn’s bed, that Finn found it necessary to slip his fingers gently around Archie’s ankle before he would sigh and snuffle and fall into a fitful sleep. After a few weeks, he was no longer surprised when he woke up to find the other end of the bed empty, the sheets thrown back and skin of his ankle chilled.

Even though he knew what he would find, Archie would always pad across the landing and stand in the doorway of Mr Nelson’s room, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes so he could properly make out the silhouette of Mr Nelson sat upright, his back pressed against the bedhead and his face pressed into the top of Finn’s head as the boy curled himself around him. Archie would wait to hear the soft rhythmic murmur of Mr Nelson’s whispered assurances to his son that he loved him more than anything in the world, that he would never leave him, that he couldn’t contemplate not being around to witness his beautiful little boy grow up. Content that Finn was safely in his father’s care Archie would turn around and head back to bed.

Archie got that Finn couldn’t really sleep unless he was wrapped inside his father’s arms, sprawled possessively across his body. He understood it was the only way Finn could think of to make sure his dad would still be there when he woke up.

In the morning, as they sat at the kitchen table while Finn’s dad made pancakes and told awful dad-jokes, Archie would watch Finn gingerly massage his fingers and wonder if he had held the fistful of his father’s t-shirt all night.

It had made sense, even to eight year old Archie, that Finn needed to physically hold on to the ones he didn’t want to lose. That’s how, ten years later, Archie recognises how much Rae has come to mean to his friend. It’s in the way he’s always looking for her, to her; needing confirmation that she’s still there. It’s how Archie knows for sure what Finn feels for Rae before Finn does himself.

Things have definitely shifted since the party. Finn’s always pressed up against Rae now, never really outside the reach of her arms. He keeps her close enough to touch so she can’t slip away – and maybe he doesn’t need to touch her, but he seems better if he can. He’s calmer, not so jittery.

Finn hasn’t just let her in, he’s also handed her all the power. She’s laid waste to every wall he’s ever built and Archie can see him standing amongst the rubble, offering himself up to her completely. He’s a quivering mass of exposed nerves, taut and raw, with his fragile heart in outstretched hands. If it were anybody else, Archie would worry for him. But Archie’s been on the receiving end of Rae’s vibrant warmth and protective care, and he’s certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that Finn is in safe hands – because what sort of brother would he be if he entrusted Finn’s heart to another woman who would leave him?


End file.
